


Alias

by kusattame



Category: One Piece
Genre: Creepy, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Not finished but some day will, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-21
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-09 23:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14725641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusattame/pseuds/kusattame
Summary: His memories could be providing him with ideals or some other shit like that, but it made him light-headed and happy, maybe it was best to just stick to them and ignore the reality. Maybe he had already done that, maybe the reality had being so unbearably painful that he had gone mad.At least his own mind was trying to make him happy, so let it be.





	1. Chapter 1

“If only I could take a single drag…”

"Smoking is strictly prohibited in this area, sir."

The nurse gave him a half smile, then picked up his case from the edge of the bed to note her observations. 

"Who knows, maybe your smoking is the reason behind your hallucinations and amnesia," she pointed out, her emerald eyes never leaving the note page. "Smoking damages your health more than you think."

"I feel like if I get one, I might get better." He was tracing the white sheets with a finger, delicate somehow like his hand and fingers had never seen a bad day, but unnervingly pale. He recalled- no, he dreamt himself as a fighter, but it didn't make sense with these useless hands and all proved the doctors right. 

"You always say that, Sanji-san." 

He sighed and had another vision of him puffing out smoke on a beautiful summer night, during a carnival or some kind of celebration, in an alley with the m-

A loud beep of the machine signaled him an upcoming headache and before he can even lay down properly, a sharp pain cut through his head, starting from his ears down to his chin, causing his mouth open for a cry but none came out. The pain traveled up to his forehead and made his vision go black. 

It was like nothing he can describe. If he had a knife or anything that is sharp enough, he could chop his head off with his own hands. The nurse put the case down and walked around the bed with long steps. She pressed down on some buttons and changed the places of some cables calmly and the pain was gone. 

Sanji tried to catch a sight of what she was doing, all in vain with the unbearable pain in this head. Let alone following her moves, it was impossible for him to tell the place of his nose. 

"Don't push yourself too much and rest well," she said with a stern voice and left. 

Since when she was there, he couldn't tell. 

He looked around white sheets, white curtains, beeping machines and a troublesome headache. This place was a hospital. 

Sanji, that was his name, was not chronically ill as far as he recalled, yet the absence of any relatives or presents that they might have brought created the sense that maybe he was there for a long time. One time accidents would be more traumatic and attention riser, after all, his friends would fill the room as soon as they realize he got hurt. His family would be there too, just not with good intentions. 

Oh, on the other issue, he had no friends to fill the room. 

He scratched his chin thoughtfully and realized that he had a goatee? Ahh… twenty-two was his age, then all facial hair was expectable.

_ I don’t want your disgusting scum in this kitchen, eggplant, don’t ever lay a single step on here without shaving! _

“Shitty old geezer…” he cursed and wondered why the hell Zeff was not there by his side. No matter what the occasion was, the old man would be there for him. Unless he, by any chance, haven’t heard of his hospitalization. 

It was the highest possibility because he was literally on the other half of the earth, Grand Line. 

So far so good with remembering. 

_ “Be my cook!” the boy beamed a million watt smile, warming his insides in a way that make the sun jealous. A gentle wind caressed his raven hair, urging him to fix his hat. Altogether it was a scene that hypnotize Sanji, hyping his spirits up whenever he felt despair from that day on.  _

Sanji felt a smile forming on his lips with the thought of this boy. They were friends alright, but he couldn’t recall his name or their time together. The boy was working at Baratie to pay his debt and rather gave Zeff a run for his money, it was all. 

Where he was, or what he was doing, he couldn’t tell.

The boy was good for nothing kind of guy, he broke more plates than he managed to clean. He ordered the chefs around to cook some meat for him. 

_ “I won’t eat anything until you cook for me!”  the same boy shouted. Shouting was a habit of his.  _

The door knocked and opened by a man who’s suspiciously well-built for a doctor and adjusted his thick-framed glasses. 

“How are you today, Mr. Vinsmoke?”

Sanji stared at the man like looking into a void. Having been called by his surname built a nauseous feeling in his gut but he knew it was wrong. It was his family name, after all, nothing to be ashamed of. 

“I have one hell of a headache.” 

“I will send the nurse with painkillers then. What about your memory? Do you remember anything? You know even the slightest bit of information can help us find your friends and you can go back to your life, it’s always easier to overcome amnesia when you’re around your precious ones.” 

The words sounded right and the man seemed to be really wanting to help him. Why would he not? He’d be getting rid of one patient in the end. 

“I remember a boy from Baratie, he has worked there for some time. I take we were friends, he had that staw-”

“Oh no! Back to Baratie again? We were doing just alright until this morning!”

“I think I remember just fine, it might be a long time since I left-”

“No, it’s not the problem. The problem is that there’s no place called Baratie.”

The man left him after filling out some additional drugs to refresh his memory, for the nurse to give, and some painkillers as he had promised. He felt so ashamed, had he been dreaming all along? Now the whole hospital deal started to make sense, his memories were lost. Yet however much he tried, the first thing he would remember was an old man -Zeff as he recalled his name- scolding him in different scenarios. 

The doctor told him that the first time he told them about Baratie and the man called Zeff, they do some research through government’s channels but found nothing. No swimming restaurant, or no shitty old man. 

Advising him to focus on the things other than those fabricated images of his own mind, the doctor told Sanji to call him whenever he gets hold of some solid hints. 

The only thing that did not fit Baratie was that hype teen because Sanji knew that he did not belong there or anywhere in particular. The doctor made no comment on the boy, he said it was impossible to find someone from the hat they were wearing. 

He tried to work on the reason why he lost his memories on the first hand, searched his body for any damage to create a shock, but found nothing. He seemed quite healthy other than the paleness. It did not bother him, particularly that he was pale. It was just that this kind of paleness required some hard work like ladies do, and though Sanji knew he wanted to look good as much as possible, he wouldn’t mind getting a shade or two darker. 

Maybe it was him now thinking like this, he would never be sure. Maybe his actual self dislikes the sun and does apply some productions on his skin. Oh-

He really didn’t mind the sun, but for the sake of getting a pair of hands on his skin, he’d sacrifice the sun and every trace it has to leave on his creamy skin. Besides, unlike some brutes sunbathing while training, Sanji had a gentleman image he had to protect. He should move and behave like a gentleman, and a with a little bit of grace and elegance because he needed to get the attention of ladies. 

He closed his eyes and let out a wistful sigh that fit him more than anything he had in mind about himself. It was then a scene flashed before his eyes, lasting no more than a few seconds.

_ They were either dancing or fighting, the latter had a certain routine. Their backs in contact, keeping an eye out for each other. A reassurance of the fact that they are alive and well, a reminder that they can count on each other. The back is not delicate or curved as he’d swoon for, it is hard and warm, tense but clean anyway because back scars are swordsman’s shame.  _

_ When he was about to make a snarky comment about the man’s hair for some reason, he felt a low growl against his back, rising from the man. Sanji tried to whip his head to check, but he too was having his share of douchebags. Three golden earrings clanged and rang a gentler melody than he’d expect, it hurt to admit that the movements of the muscle-head had a kind of elegance.  _

He felt himself getting flustered over this particular memory, though he had no clue about the man or when that happened. Hell, he didn’t even know he was into men. 

Isn’t it how it goes in life as well? You think yourself as something, you believe you walk in a straight line, clear as day, and one day realize that you’re actually something entirely different. It can be because you  _ think _ yourself before you achieve that image, and it stays there in your mind as a kind of ideal, never coming into life. 

His memories could be providing him with ideals or some other shit like that, but it made him light-headed and happy, maybe it was best to just stick to them and ignore the reality. Maybe he had already done that, maybe the reality had being so unbearably painful that he had gone mad. 

At least his own mind was trying to make him happy, so let it be.

Thinking of the newest image he had, he wondered the man who managed to affect him only with a growl and jiggle of earrings. More importantly, were they really fighting? Like in the movies, side by side, using nothing but pure strength, and trust in each other.

It was awesome. 

While he was drooling over the idea of him being a badass chevalier, a nurse came in, smiling warmly at him. 

“You’re quite happy, I guess. It’s been long since you smiled like that.” 

“I was thinking myself as a knight or a prince,” Sanji said, trying to keep whatever expression he had on because it was apparently making this lady happy too. Very chivalric indeed. 

“You do seem like one, If you ask my opinion,” she hummed herself as if considering something. There were two needles in the plate she was holding, one filled with white liquid while the other was slightly red. She took the white one and held it up to click lightly on it several times to get rid of the air within. 

“Thank you, my flower,” the compliment came out of his mouth naturally, he had no intention to flirt with the nurse or make her uncomfortable. He shook the thought off and decided to keep their mood light with a strange idea got to him, “I might be a pirate as well... It’d be crazy.”

He was too caught up with the idea that he couldn’t see the way her shoulders tensed. She lowered the white needle, sighed, and went for the red one.

“I’m afraid there’s no such thing as pirate,” her mocking tone betrayed the gentle words, harsh and hospital cold. “Now take this pill please, Mr. Prince.”

“What’s this,” he asked but took the pill to down it in one go. ”Not like I’m doubting a kind lady as you.”

“It’s for your headache, and I’m adding this,” she held the syringe up, “to your serum so your mind will get clearer.”

Having no medical information other than the edible things and their benefits, Sanji nodded as confirmation. Not that she needed a one. 

He could remember that, for example, carrots are good for eyes, olive oil helps the digestive system, and the smell of strawberries calms down the nerves. It was not common for a man to know this much about food so at least the part of him being a cook was true. 

And about the calming nerves and mind cleaning, the only thing applying to him was the sweet scent of the tobacco. He recalled himself taking a calming drag in, and even more than that, he missed the weight of a cigarette between his lips. 

“If only I could take a single drag…”

"Smoking is strictly prohibited in this area, sir."

The nurse gave him a half smile, then picked up his case from the edge of the bed to note her observations. 

"Who knows, maybe your smoking is the reason behind your hallucinations and amnesia," she pointed out, her emerald eyes never leaving the note page. "Smoking damages your health more than you probably think."

"I feel like if I get one, I might get better." He was tracing the white sheets with a pale finger, delicate somehow, like his hand and fingers had never seen a bad day, but unnervingly pale. He recalled- no, he dreamt himself as a fighter, but it didn't make sense with these useless hands and all proved the doctors right. 

"You always say that, Sanji-san."

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

"Smoking is strictly prohibited in this area, sir."

The nurse gave him a half smile, then picked up his case from the edge of the bed to note her observations. 

"Who knows, maybe your smoking is the reason behind your hallucinations and amnesia," she pointed out, her emerald eyes never leaving the note page. "Smoking damages your health more than you probably think."

"I feel like if I get one, I might get better." He was tracing the white sheets with a pale finger, delicate somehow like his hand and fingers had never seen a bad day, but unnervingly pale. He recalled- no, he dreamt himself as a fighter, but it didn't make sense with these useless hands and all proved the doctors right. 

"You always say that, Sanji-san."

“I must be craving then.”

The nurse did not comment on that and tapped her pen to the note sheet. It was a random rhythm at first, then turned into a fade melody. Was it a march? No, it was way more cheerful. More like a-

 

_ Crowded and loud were the two words fit the atmosphere. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. The music was light and energetic, but something in the room made it heavy. His head was wrapped up in bandages. There was an unpleasant feeling in his gut, not from the injury. He raised his hands, stared hard at them, and barely suppressed the urge to kick himself. Almost… almost had he let the marimo to die for their sake. _

_ A boiling rage flowed through his body, eating him alive until the idiot woke up. There was no one who could take all his anger with the absence of the certain swordsman. The ladies were out of the list and hell, the rest was children, including the cyborg.  _

_ He prayed for him to get well soon so that Sanji could kill him again. It happened after a day and a half. _

_ Making sure that the marimo can handle himself, he landed a kick to his shin.  _

_ “Watch where you going,” the man mumbled from where he napped without opening an eye. It made him only angrier.  _

_ “Huh,” he growled and landed another kick, “I thought it was some overgrown grass, it is you.” _

_ The following thirteen minutes were a slur, of flying swords and flaming kicks, until the other man got Sanji hanging down on the white railings, holding him by the ankle.  _

_ “Let go,” he hissed, feeling the blood rushing to his head because of the upside-down position.  _

_ The man laughed sweetly, “Are you sure about that, curly?” _

_ “I will kill you.” _

_ “One can only hope.”  _

_ Sanji scowled and with all the power left in his body, he pulled his leg. It caused the man to groan in pain but created enough time for him to twist his body upwards and pull himself up into a standing position. He flattened his clothes and smirked. Now it would teach the brute a lesson, well, only if he was still alive. _

_ Seeing the state the man was in, his smirk fell off and replaced with panic.  _

_ “Oi marimo, are you dead?” _

_ The man was holding the arm which had been holding Sanji seconds ago, eyes closed with a painful expression on his face. He spoke through his teeth, “You dislocated my arm.” _

_ The color drained from the cook’s face, “Let me bring Ch-” _

_ “No, wait here.”  _

_ Sanji stood there, not sure about what to do with himself. They fought all the time, yes, but not to the extent where they seriously do some damage. Caring for another was not an option too because they were rivals for life. Of course, there was respect and the tiniest bit of affection between them, they were nakama. However, pity was out of their emotion list.  _

_ “Does it hurt? Do you know how to locate it back?” _

_ Sanji kneeled in front of the man anyway, to study the damage closer. He himself had never experienced a dislocation of any limb, so he was out of cures. The man winced when the blonde tried to hold his arm but it sounded off… or artificial. Before Sanji could think anything, he was on his back on the floor, with a strong arm pressing him even more into the wooden flooring. He hoped the faint crack he had just heard did not come from his ribs, couldn’t help yelping on the way. The green haired male cut all his upcoming curses with a laugh. _

_ “I c-can’t…” he barked, unable to form words, “I can’t believe you actually fell for that.” _

_ The blonde couldn’t believe either, to how little the man thought of the injuries and… death.  _

_ “You careless lost case!” He burst out.  _

_ The howling stopped, and the man’s eyes went wide. Sanji couldn’t stop himself from spilling out his mind. _

_ “You are just a suicidal plant! Do you enjoy the expressions on the people’s faces when they think you’re going to die! Get off.” _

_ “How can I die from a fucking arm injury?” _

_ “You know what I’m talking about, marimo,” he growled and made an attempt to free his legs.  _

_ It caused the man to tighten the hold on his legs with his thighs. “Explain.”  _

_ Sanji took a deep breath and realized it had been a long time since his last cigarette. He wriggled some more, totally ignoring the weight of the man on the top of him. “I need a cigarette.” _

_ The other eyed him cautiously, then pulled the arm holding Sanji back. He leaned back to sit on his torso instead, for a good measure. Sanji, again, ignored the amount of weirdness in the position and lit up a cigarette. The effect was instant, it calmed down his rising anger.  _

_ “What you did back then was unnecessary. You came out of it alive, Gods must have taken a pity on your sorry ass or it’s just a dumb luck, I don’t know. You should have let me do it instead.” _

_ “Was it your deal?” _

_ The swordsman studied him as if trying to understand how much he meant his words. It lasted few seconds, then his face darkened dangerously. He got to his feet in the flash of a light and picked Sanji up to his shoulder like carrying a sack of potatoes. _

_ “What do you- woah, put me down you bastard!”  _

_ “It’s your fault that you think so lowly of me,” with that, he threw Sanji into the ocean, clapping the invisible dust of off his hands.  _

_ Things only went down after that, never- _

 

A loud beep of the machine cut his thoughts and took his attention instead. Almost instinctively, he felt a headache coming, and even before he could lay down properly, a sharp pain cut through his head, starting from his ears down to his chin, causing his mouth open for a cry but none came out. The pain traveled up to his forehead and made his vision go black. 

It was like nothing he can describe. If he had a knife or anything that is sharp enough, he could chop his head off with his own hands. The nurse put the case down and walked around the bed with long steps. She pressed down on some buttons and changed the places of some cables calmly and the pain was gone. 

Sanji tried to catch a sight of what she was doing, all in vain with the unbearable pain in this head. Let alone following her moves, it was impossible for him to tell the place of his nose. 

"Don't push yourself too much and rest well," she said with a stern voice and left. 

Since when she was there, he couldn't tell. 

He wondered what he did to get himself into this situation. It was a hospital, didn't need to be a genius to understand that, and he felt tired as hell. Not beaten up into a coma kind of tired, no, but as he had just raised from the dead. 

The last thing he remembered was them going into a fight with marines, just how bad he got his ass beaten to woke up in a hospital? They had not even seemed that tough. 

He checked the room quickly, there was nothing much. Typical hospital room with its everything white and cold. There were several cables tied to him from a giant machine, and a cup of water. 

“Oi- is there anyone out there?” He called out, raking a hand through his bangs. 

Strange.

He was sure that his hair fell over the left side of his face, not the right. Also, they felt longer between his fingers than he remembered, or more like, longer than Zeff allowed in his kitchen.

“Oh, you’re awake.” A huge man hurried his way into the room.

He looked like the type of man Sanji’d dislike, but again he disliked men in general so the thought wouldn’t hurt anyone for now. 

“For how long I’ve been here,” he asked with a strained voice. 

The man ignored his question and rushed to his bedside where a case laid down, “How old are you?”

“Nineteen… Are you a doctor?” 

“How do you feel today?” The man ignored him for one more time, starting to get on his nerves.

“It’s none of your fucking concern,” Sanji snapped back, having no business with ignorant assholes like this. 

The man sighed and looked at him in the eye, “Yes, I am your doctor and no, you’re not nineteen, not anymore.”

“What do you mean?” 

“You’re under our care for five months and you’re suffering from amnesia and occasional hallucinations. There was no exterior impact when we first got to see you so we think the reason can be interior, an emotional trauma or something of that kind.”

Why the fuck would he have an amnesia? Moreover, why the hell would it be emotional? Sanji had long passed those times when he had left his homeland. Although the whole situation sounded like a bullshit, yet he opted to listen whatever the doctor had to say.

“I’m afraid what you might be remembering now cannot be anything more than a product of your brain, in order to keep up with the current time’s events and your last real experiences.”

“There’s nothing out of ordinary in my thought, I mean I spent almost all of my life in a restaurant, nothing shiny.” 

“Well, It’ll be hard to comprehend it at first but you never worked in a restaurant to start with. You’re twenty-two now, prince of a well-known kingdom.”

The words made no sense, all sounded like a sick joke. No restaurant? Well, where could he be all those years, if not in the shitty restaurant Baratie? Had he been in Germa? Totally a sick joke.

“Ah- for your information, we are still looking for the boy with straw hat, as you said you remembered last time but I’m not sure if there is such a person either.”

Not sure if he could continue to take more of whatever the man was telling, Sanji requested harshly, “Leave me alone, please. I don’t feel… good.”

“Sure, I’ll be sending the nurse.”

Well, time for theories. From the look of it, the room really seemed -and smelled- like a hospital room. Let’s say there was a possibility of him having such a shock, so all the things he had gone through would be a dream, which itself sounded delusional because there were so many details in his mind to be taken as lies. There was no way his brain would be manufacturing them. It’d be simply stupid. 

What was the possibility of these people confuse him with another patient? He talked about a boy wearing a straw hat, Sanji knew no such man. Maybe it was another man’s dream. 

He got up and walked towards the window. From where he lied on the bed, only the sky visible but now that he stood by the window, he was surprised to see it was snowing outside. Indoors were warm enough for him to consider ripping off the itchy hospital clothes. Watching the snowfall, a shiver went down on his spine. Before he could comprehend what was happening, he remembered.

 

_ Sanji hated the snow, especially when they kept on falling without a stop, and blind him with the whiteness. Spending his worst years in north blue, winter was one of the things he disliked the most. Today was an exception because he’d wipe away all his fears for the sake of his nakama.  _

_ The dodged an attack from a giant rabbit- believe him, they were scarier than they sound- and yelled at the kid running few paces in front of him, carrying someone.  _

_ “Damn it Luffy, I told you not to fight!” _

_ “Whoops! Sorry, I forgot!” the boy singsonged and laughed lightly, relieving the stress Sanji had been going through. He was the only person to make Sanji feel like that, to be honest, and he met with the closest second only a few hours later to run after him to join their crew as an emergency food supply. _

 

A violent tremble shook his body and he got on the bed again. A middle-aged nurse came into the room carrying a metal plate, preventing him from dwelling into the dream he had just had. She had a fair complexion revealing the freckles on her skin. Her hair was an orange, close to red, causing him a sharp intake of breath. 

 

_ He was cooking carrots that night, putting extra effort for the ladies’ plates because he knew they appreciated the aesthetic beauty of anything, unlike the brutes that were generally called as men. Yet there he was putting two plates away to serve last, like hell he was going to eat alone because all those brutes inhale their food as soon as they laid their hands on the plate. Marimo’s going to suffer with him, because why not.  _

_ He handed the plate to the other man with more force than he first intended. The man took it without a word but his face lightened visibly when Sanji decided to sit next to him. The night was warm, with lots of food and dance, with campfires and friendships, like every other meal he had with these people. His legs carried him wherever they wished, following the sweet melody. A pair of arms wrapped around his neck and he immediately returned the gesture with wrapping his arm around the slim waist of the red-headed woman.  _

_ Together they swayed around the huge fire, laughing all along. There was trust in her eyes and he promised himself that he was never going to let her down. Her smile faltered for a second, her doe eyes darting somewhere behind him, then she turned them around and leaned in his ear.  _

_ “I can help you both with that.”  _

_ He experienced a loss of senses because of the proximity of such a nice lady but then noticed the sharp eyes following his every move from afar.  _

 

The nurse shifted under his gaze uncomfortably, “I’ll be nursing you for the first time so please be kind to each other.”

He nodded and offered a couraging smile at the woman. “Like I can be any rude towards such a beautiful swan.” 

She smiled shyly, and Sanji thought the shyness did not suit the red-head. His mind again wandered back to the vision he had just had, confusing him even more. He did not know jack shit about the people he seemed to remember. 

He didn’t give a credit to the doctor’s words at first but his imaginary adventures with giant rabbits and walking-talking reindeers told otherwise. 

“If only I could take a single drag…” He wheezed out, frowning even more at the thought of not having a cigarette for five months.  

“You can’t smoke in this district.”

He sulked at that, despite already knowing it’d be prohibited.

“Who knows, maybe it’s the reason behind your amnesia,” she kindly provided, as if trying to cheer him up. “Smoking damages your health more than you think.” 

“I feel like if I get one, I might get better.” He watched her note down something on the case the doctor left earlier. She handed him a pill, obviously for him to take. After that, she swiftly picked up a needle filled with red liquid. 

“You always say that, Sanji-san.”

Sanji was about to give in to her nice façade when he noticed something terribly wrong. 

“How do you know that,” he asked hollowly, gripping tight at the pill.

“What?” She seemed to be taken aback, hands shaking suddenly. 

“You said you’re new, how do you know I always say that-” he shifted in the bed to get on his feet to be held down by a thin arm.

“Please don’t get up, you’re still weak from-”

“What the he-” he stopped himself from cursing in front of a lady and continued with a low, dangerous tone although he was sure that he wouldn’t hurt her even if he wanted badly, “What is this pill for?”

The color drained from her face, and he noticed her actions sped up considerably. “It’s for your headache, the doctor from earlier told me to bring it.” 

An ugly feeling twisted his stomach and his eyes went wide. These people were deceiving him.

“I never told I had a headache.”

She clicked her tongue and finished whatever she was doing with the needle to press some buttons on the machine. Sanji jumped to his feet, but before he could lay his hands on her, a loud beeping noise filled his ears and urged him for something sick that was coming. 

A sharp pain paralyzed him, made him fall face first into the floor. His head throbbed like hundred drums played at the same time inside there, and the pain traveled down to his forehead and chin. He opened his mouth for a cry to manage nothing. 

When he opened his eyes, he was scrubbing the floor, no other explanation seemed to fit. His upper body felt numb and he was holding onto something like his life depended on it. 

“Oh, Sanji-san! How did you fall? You should have called for help!” A nurse towered over him with concern written all over her features. He hated himself to be the one making her worry. 

Other than that, since when she had been there, he couldn’t tell. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your nice comments, they fueled me up to write the second chapter!!


	3. Chapter 3

Sanji kept his hand closed until the nurse left him alone, although he wondered what was inside. his knuckles were white from how tight he held the thing. 

As soon as he was alone, he opened his fingers, it did not surprise him that the thing was a pill, it was a hospital after all. However, the state he found himself was not so nice, even in hospital standards. People wake up in a hospital bed and the story goes on after that, but he woke up in a hospital, on the ground, with slight brain damage because he couldn’t tell how he ended up there. 

Sanji could be anything, but he was definitely not a fool. The whole ordeal screamed suspicious. 

Finding a pill was not so reassuring either. It was impossible to tell what it was for, so he carefully put it under his pillow. 

The nurse seemed to be worried about his condition, but as she was helping Sanji back on the bed, he noticed the empty syringe lying on the metal plate, in front of the huge machine. There could be two ways things took place. First was the scenario where he had a shock or something like that and ended up on the ground, then the nurse heard the noises and came to his rescue. In the second one and more troublesome one, she had already been there when he fainted. He hated to admit that the first scenario was unlikely because of the empty syringe, it would be impossible to run there with a plate in her hands. 

Moreover, the pill spoke volumes of the situation, obviously, it meant something to him that he protected it with all his might. 

Being cautious would be the wisest thing to do, and if it would ever be clear that she was innocent, he’d apologize to her like a true gentleman. Until then, he would have to do his best to remember how he had ended up in a hospital. 

Was it that old man’s fault that he had a concussion or something like that? Zeff beat him like he was still ten, so it was, though embarrassing, a possibility. 

The other suspect was that marine commander he kicked out. The man left the restaurant with hundred death threats. The marines tended to be total assholes throughout the east blue because there was no pirate around to beat the crap out of them. 

Sanji stared up at the ceiling and wished he could light a cigarette. 

This world had treated him like a shit since he was born, and seemed to be carrying the same purpose after Sanji finally settled down a place where he could call home. 

No matter how hard he wanted to deny the idea, he felt like a burden wherever he went.

 

_ His whole body was shaking with pain. He could admit that they went overboard with the last event, the government would be on their tail when they got the news.  _

_ Or more like if the crew could make it alive because taking one warlord, Moria, had been a pain in the ass, as it could be understood from the way he was still trembling with adrenaline and pain. Then that other guy, Kuma, decided he would have their heads when they all were on the verge of a blackout, or some of them had already been.  _

_ “Take my head instead,” a deep voice spoke few steps away, belonging to the first mate of their captain. “This is the head of the man who will be the world’s greatest swordsman!”  _

_ Sanji felt his heartbeat went crazy after hearing those words. The man dropped his swords to a side and it became the cherry on the top of his worries. Marimo was serious.  _

_ Sanji had been sure that the death would find them eventually, but he would have never guessed it would be the moment they were in. More importantly, out of all of them, it found the swordsman, the most passionate one about his dreams after their captain.  _

_ It should have been Sanji standing there, not the idiot marimo because he was nothing but a shame to his family and kingdom, then he cost Zeff a leg and gave nothing back. He did his best within the crew, but it was time to pay all his debts.  _

_ Besides, he gave more shit about the marimo’s well being than he thought he would give. To be honest, he couldn’t stand the idea of losing the man. He couldn’t stand that he had such feelings too, so he’d rather die than continue all these.  _

_ Gathering up his courage had never been an issue for him, the only quality of his that he favored, other than his hands that worked magic. _

_ Sanji would call himself a romantic, both in the way he thought and in the way he acted. The thoughts on his head, however, made him seem like a total emo.  _

_ The other emo on the scene, and believe him- marimo could have been the president of emos if Mihawk had been out of the game, Zoro knocked him out without a doubt. His elbow dug to the blonde’s ribs, hard, and the determination in his eyes never faded.  _

_ From a man who hated his guts more than anything as he claimed in each fight they had, the move was peculiar. It was his chance to get rid of the cook as he was being so persistent on dying, and his chance to protect his own dream, but rather than pushing Sanji into the flames, he knocked the cook with more cruelty, like telling him to cut the bullshit, like telling him he actually matter more than his own life and dream.  _

_ It was too much for Sanji. Too much to handle.  _

 

Sanji opened his eyes and it took him awhile to steady himself. His hand was holding the place the man had knocked in his dream, and his breathing was quicker than ever. 

Who was the man anyway? His name was Zoro, but Sanji had not met such a man in person. Of course, he had heard about the famous pirate hunter Zoro, the man was called as the demon of east blue, but really, Sanji’d remember if he ever got the chance to meet such a celebrity. 

Was he dreaming all along? The thing felt real, Sanji could almost smell the blood in the air. The right side of his chest throbbed with pain. His heart was pounding in his chest, because no one ever offered their life for his, except Zeff, and Sanji was almost ashamed that he forgot the man. 

Sanji knew himself well, he was the type of man who would daydream about ladies all day long, reading about different fishes would turn him on too, but there was nothing  _ him _ in this dream because, in his right mind, he wouldn’t fantasize about a man in the most intimate way ever. 

A piece of him wished it to be real, although it was same as wishing the other man dead. Sanji wanted to devour the feeling of being important to a person more than everything, he wanted to be selfish and mourn afterward if it was necessary. 

Such thoughts scared him because he was a romantic, remember? On the other hand, his much more animalistic side, his darkest side that he showed only for that man, wanted to see the blood, got high from the way man waited for the death for the sake of them. 

Sanji was sure that he would hardly get over it if the man had died. 

Maybe it was the thing that drove him mad, but before he could dwell up more, a huge man entered the room and nodded as a greeting. Sanji nodded back in acknowledge, though he had no idea who the man was. 

“How unfortunate…” the man seemed to be talking to himself, his concern could be read from the way he looked around nervously and from the droplets of sweat forming on his face. 

Sanji watched the man carefully, expressionless. The man spoke up this time.

“I’ve been informed that you’ve gone into another shock after hearing the news…” 

The man trailed off after that and Sanji’s heart skipped a beat. Could he be talking about the swordsman in his dream? 

“You were going to be discharged tomorrow, it’s really heartbreaking to see things went back to zero again.”

“What do you mean?”

“As you can see, you’re in a hospital,” the man gestured around, “Do you know why you are here?”

“No, not exactly.”

Sanji meant that. He had no pain or whatsoever, a bit irritated maybe, but nothing that a cigarette couldn’t heal. 

“A huge fire took place in east blue, a couple of weeks ago. It took place in the famous restaurant Baratie-”

_ The hell? _

“What are you talking about,” the blonde jumped to his feet, yanking the man up with him by the collar of his blue uniform. “I’m not injured, why am I here?”

“Please calm down,” barely getting the words out, the man placed a hand on his shoulder. ”You are here because of the consequences of the event. I’m terribly sorry to break this news but no one made it alive, and you’ve been found by marines while floating in the ocean.”

“I’ve never left that rotten place, there’s no way for me to  _ not _ to be there.”

“Unfortunately there’s no witness to tell how the whole thing happened other than you, the only survivor, and the marines who arrived too late to the scene.”

Sanji felt a strange tickling at the back of his head. Other than that, he did not know how to react. The only survivor? Him? What kind of sick mind decided such fate? 

Oh. He released the poor guy and sank back into the bed. 

Being alive would be the worst, and the life had always had the worst for him. 

“Marines are suspecting from a pirate for the fire. Does the name Don Krieg click something in your mind?”

Sanji shook his head. There had to be more than one to take down all Baratie and set a fire after. One had to have guts to do it. 

“When you first got your consciousness, you cursed after him.”

Well, it sounded like something he’d do. 

“After we told you what happened, you had a shock and it resulted in short-term memory loss. Everything seemed to be going well until this morning. I was here three hours ago! We talked and decided you’ll be good on your own.”

The man sulked, though both his words and his moves lacked the enthusiasm. Sanji was just another patient in the end. 

“I’ll leave you alone for now, but I’ll send the nurse with your medicines. Please don’t exhaust yourself much.” 

Sanji lied on his side, unable to function properly.

A tear flowed down and dropped to his pillow. Then another one followed it, and another, gently. His breathing was calm, the steady beeping coming from the machine told it was same for his heart too. He had no memories of the event, and it hurt to not feel anything.

It was surreal, like when you are reading your newspaper during a peaceful breakfast. You read and read about the wars going on, you read about the powers behind them, you read the number that has been vanished from the same world you are living, and it does not even move a hair in your body. They are just numbers for your brain to process, nothing for your heart to mourn after. 

The only difference for Sanji that he owed thanks to these people, he owed Zeff his life. 

 

_ “We will run! I order all of you to run away! We have to stay alive and meet on Sunny within three days!”  _

_ Sanji felt his heart drop with those words. They had never backed away from a fight. It bothered him to see their fearless captain came around with such an idea.  _

_ “Brook! Usopp! Protect Zoro no matter what!”  _

_ “Sanji! Take Nami with you. Franky, you go with them!” _

_ “Leave here to me!” he shouted back, trying to sound as much reassuring as he could but a voice at the back of his head screamed danger, screamed at him to turn back and fight for what was his. _

_ They started running towards nowhere in particular. Everyone seemed like they were on their limit. Franky’s hair was down, indicating he had no energy left. Brook had cracks here and there, and his suit was torn everywhere. Chopper was crying, about the swordsman’s condition and Luffy’s attention was also there indeed. Zoro, on the other hand, lied lifeless on the ground, very uncharacteristic of him.  _

_ Usopp could be the only reliable one that moment because he seemed alright, but there was no guarantee that he would stay as so. The voice in his head clawed at his heart too, Sanji had much more important things than his life. Yet he needed to trust his captain and his decisions.  _

_ “ZORO!” _

_ He kept running until a choked cry reached his ears. He knew to whom it belonged. He whipped his head to see Brook vanishing into thin air.  _

_ Too late.  _

_ The rest was silence, there was no voice to nag him in his rushed state while Usopp, on his knees, was sharing the same fate with the skeleton.  _

_ Almost on instinct, because he had to make this ridiculously strong man pay, the blonde turned back. Not once but twice the giant man hurt them, hell, the idiot marimo had still been wounded from Thriller Bark. Zoro still hurt.  _

_ Sanji needed him alive, especially when he had still been trying to figure out why the idea of having the marimo around did not irritate him anymore like it used to. He was coming to terms with his fresh thoughts about the man, about how he got under his skin and deepest mind without even trying. He needed to thank him, he- _

 

“He’s alive…” Sanji found himself mumbling as if comforting his racing worry. He was overwhelmed with the intensity of the vision he had just had. There were names, his mind welcomed each of them with an ease and sense of content. 

There were faces and a certain place- Sabody. He could even tell where their ship waited. 

Who were all these people? There were some nice ladies around for his eyes to feed on. Also, there were other creatures that he could enjoy himself with. Like a cute reindeer and a walking skeleton. Then there was a cyborg for god’s sake! It was everyman’s dream. 

Let’s not forget about the marimo man. After recalling him twice, Sanji could hardly deny the man’s existence or what this man meant to him. He was confident to admit that in his dreams, he was attached to the man, though that dream self could kick him for saying it aloud. 

Sanji would have liked that option more if he had not been in a hospital with nothing left. So he was making up fake memories for himself…

Not exactly a solution to the problem, but it made sense and furthermore, Sanji was almost disappointed to having heard about it being a sickness. He could live with his false memories. 

The sound of the door opening brought him back to the earth. A young nurse with light brown hair walked in. 

“It’s good to see you awake, Sanji-san!”

“The pleasure is mine, my lady,” he greeted, feeling himself turning into jello already. 

“I volunteered to bring your medicines today! I was so worried after hearing you went into another shock!” 

“I’m sorry to make you feel that,” he said, meaning every word.

“Please don’t be!”

She smiled and placed the plate on the foot of the bed. She sat there too, with a friendly gesture. Sanji got they were pretty close for her to behave that way. 

“Do you remember me? My name?”

Sanji shook his head, he didn’t remember anything. 

“I’m Pudding, we were friends before you reset yourself again.”

“Friends?”

“Of course! We’ve become quite close,” she placed her hand on the top of his, “Enough for me to…” 

She closed her free hand over her mouth and sobbed quietly, taking Sanji by surprise. He felt his cheeks burning. 

Could it be..? Could it be that they had a kind of relationship?

Sanji had always been a natural flirt, he lived for soft giggles of the women or delicate features of them. He could give his life for all and he was quite proud of it. 

Still, he was not a man of relationships, he did not belong only to one woman, he would worship all of them at once. For that reason, he had never given serious vibes to anyone. 

Maybe he went overboard with this nice nurse and she had gotten all the thing wrong. 

However much the idea of being in a kind of relationship with this women excited him, he would just act normal for the sake of the flow, he had to do as so. 

He watched the nurse without being a creep and gave her time to recover from whatever emotional break she was having. It didn’t take long though, she straightened herself and got up. 

“Here we go, I brought you black tea as you like,” she offered a plastic cup. So she knew about his preferences too.

“A cigarette, too, would be awesome,” he wheezed wishfully, slightly having a shake of the hand with the need for nicotine, 

She laughed lightly, “I knew you were going to say this.”

“How do you-”

“You always say that, Sanji-san.”

With those words, gears in his head started to move. It was like those words did not belong to her, they echoed in his head with different voices and faces, creating a deja vous feeling. 

She held out a pill for him to take and he recognized it immediately. The same pill with the one under his pillow. He took it, and she grabbed a syringe from the plate. 

“Tell, Pudding-chan, what is this pill for?”

“That? It is for your headache. You have a chronic headache because of your memory switch. So we give you that per six hours.”

“What will happen if I skip?”

“Your headache can grow unbearably painful.” 

He would have considered these people being extremely kind to him, only if he had a headache or any pain at all. These hospital people were acting strange, claiming him as a patient for no reason at all. 

They were lying about the pills and Sanji was highly doubtful about that whole fire in Baratie. He couldn’t just believe it. Then there were those dreams he kept having, all those people he hadn’t heard of, maybe the medicines caused such fake memories. 

Whatever the case might be, the first thing he needed to do was to get out of that room. It was going to irritate him, but he had to shoo that nurse out before she could do more possible damage. 

_ Urgh-  _ he couldn’t just tell her to get out. He needed a reason, a valid one which would easily get her off. He looked around, trying to find anything that he could use, then his eyes landed on his crotch. Oh-

He could always act awkward.

 

_ It was dark, cold, and Sunny was diving upwards. The younger members of the crew had still been emotional after waving their goodbyes to Fishman Island, and Sanji himself felt a little down, too, because he couldn’t spend as much time as he wished with mermaids and their princess. It really was the lifelong dream of his.  _

_ He sighed and put the last plate in its place and he was done for at least few hours. There was nothing kitchen-wise he needed to worry about.  _

_ Nothing other than the idiot, in other words. It amazed Sanji that how a brainless moss ball could easily fuck with his head. Two years break to their rivalry had resulted in interesting outcomes, and it was exhausting to trying to find out which one irritated him the most. Was it the ignorance and snarky insults but I-will-die-if-I-touch-you kind of attitude, or heated fights with blood, sweat, and tears involved?  _

_ The algae head was nothing more than ignorance and snarky insults now, yes. Of course, they fought whenever they could manage like cats and dogs. However, the fights lacked swords and kicks, Zoro avoided physical sparring and it resulted in an overload of frustration in the cook’s body. He tried to kick Franky for something, anything, but the guy had not been annoying enough. Marimo, on the other hand, always found a way to make the blonde see the red. Besides Franky was made of titanium for the god’s sake, you can’t kick him without your bones cracking. _

_ “Oi! Chopper says you should see him when you are done.” _

_ As if summoned, a green head popped from the window and gave Sanji a perfect opportunity to weigh his chances one more time.  _

_ “Didn’t know you served as his maid, shithead.” _

_ Zoro gaped at him from the sudden insult. Smirking to his success, Sanji continued.  _

_ “Go tell him I’m fine, but wait, I’m sure I’ll see him around before you can even manage to find him.” _

_ Anger flickered in the man’s dark gaze and Sanji realized he missed it. “What the fuck is your problem, your brows took over your brain?” _

_ “I don’t want to hear that from a man who is ruled by the grass miraculously growing on his head.” _

_ “Come again? You sound weak from all those stupid nose bleeding.” _

_ It was like a sweet symphony for his rusted ears, he missed riling the idiot up with his words, getting a rise out of him.  _

_ It compromised his soul, to be able to make the mighty pirate hunter flush red with anger. Sanji liked to think he had constantly been on that moss-head, even though the man hated his guts.  _

_ “Alright asshole, wait there and I’ll show you the weak,” he yelled with mock anger.  _

_ “Tch, as if, prince of weaklings.” _

_ With that and a wave of his hand, Zoro turned around to go, leaving Sanji hanging with all his sparring fantasies. Backing up from a fight hadn’t been on the swordsman’s book. _

_ “Where are you going! Wait there so that I can-”  Once he realized he was talking to deaf ears, Sanji ran to the door and called from there.  _

_ “Are you running away from a fight?”  _

_ “No way! I’m just-” _

_ “You are what? Scared, marimo?” _

_ That stopped the man from going away further. He faced the blonde with an expression that yelled ‘huh’ and walked back to the kitchen.  _

_ “I will win anyway, why tiring myself out for it?”  _

_ However his actions betrayed his words, he was there in the kitchen in front of Sanji, with arms crossed over his chest. These actions of the marimo wore Sanji out, he clearly did not want to get into a fight but he was there whenever Sanji called him.  _

_ “Are you belittling me,” he asked, not putting much meaning into the words although the possibility of such thing crossed his mind.  _

_ Zoro kept silent, growing redder with anger. _

_ “Belittling? If you really think I’d do that then fuck off.” The words left his mouth like venom and for the second time that day made a move to leave the place. _

_ A similar kind of anger run through the blond’s veins. With this fresh but bitter hype within him, because how dare that lost marimo shove words down his throat, Sanji grabbed the closest towel to throw it to the man.  _

_ It didn’t hit the man, he managed to dodge just in time with a bow of his head. Then he sighed very long and loud before slowly approaching the cook. He was still red from the rage but there was something else in his gaze that caused Sanji to take a step back.  _

_ He knew Zoro very well, because they ate together, fought together, slept together and they almost thought the same things at the same time. One would easily mark them as best friends but the label never seemed to fit for what they had.  _

_ Under the surface, Sanji trusted the man with his life, Zoro respected his ideas by heart. Still, there was this uncontrollable desire between them to wreck each other. It was not hate, no, hate meant ‘push’ but the thing between them was definitely a ‘pull’.  _

_ Like it had been happening that moment. Zoro got closer and closer until Sanji had nowhere to go. His hips hit the counter and the blonde shot an irritated glare at the man to stop him.  _

_ The swordsman closed the gap between them and slammed his right hand to the counter. With his left, he grabbed Sanji’s wrist and yanked at it harshly.  _

_ Sanji followed the movement with wide eyes, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. _

_ “Why don’t you fight back? I’ll break it.” The blonde felt the words against his skin because the algae was that close, and hissed when the other underlined his words with a hard twist to his captured wrist.  _

_ Sanji tried to free the limb, “You son of a…” _

_ After understanding that there was no way for him to break free from the man, Sanji kicked the man’s thigh just enough to send him a few steps away. However, without giving him a chance to recover, the man drew his sword and gave a little cut under his jaw.  _

_ “You wanted to fight,” he growled like he did to his enemies and it hurt Sanji to found himself in the receiving end of this bloodthirst. _

_ “Have you gone mad?” The man revived his previous position, backing Sanji up against the counter. He tried to reason, “If we do it this way one of us will end up hurt badly.” _

_ “It doesn’t matter, one of us always ends up hurt, cook.” _

_ “What do you mean?” _

_ Zoro threw him a panicked glance and gulped. He leaned in and Sanji felt like the arms either side of him were also trapping him even more than before. It seemed like an awkward hug, and Sanji’s heart jumped with the idea.   _

_ Sanji could do something truly useless as counting the idiot’s lashes from that close and it caused an odd consciousness in his belly. The man seemed tired although he had spent half of his day sleeping, and his gaze was flickering down to the little slice he gave Sanji. The blonde watched different emotions run within his only eye, all focused on him.  _

_ “I won’t fight anymore unless it’s this way.” Zoro declared sternly as if challenging the cook to come at him for the opposite. What an opposite it was. _

_ Sanji wanted to do so, just to test if he had understood the whole thing right. The clues were up in open. He behaved quick and went for the most reasonable option in his hand. If he was wrong, by any chance, the only option left would be getting killed by the same man so his shame would never see a day. _

_ Grabbing the man by his haramaki, he pulled Zoro even closer and pressed his lips to the others. _

_ With the years of tension pending up his body from not being able to fight the man, he pressed harder and almost had a heart attack when the swordsman responded back by moving his lips with equal fervor.  _

_ The cut by his neck stung and brought Sanji to himself. Damn the idiot marimo. Placing his hands on the man’s hips, he raised his leg and kicked the man hard enough to send him flying to the other side of the kitchen. _

_ “Good that I’ve found your soft spot, three swords.” _

_ “Is it supposed to be an insult?” _

 

“Uh-” he coughed, half glad that he didn’t need to pretend to be awkward anymore and half bewildered about the fact that he had just managed to feel hot from imagining himself with a man. 

“Can you leave me alone for a minute?”

She raised a questioning brow, stopping her actions. 

“Private needs,” he provided with an apologetic smile, “Just give me few minutes and I’ll take care of it.”

Pudding turned crimson but did not dig in further. She placed the syringe back on the plate and left the room without a word.

The soft click of the door closing, Sanji took the pill under his pillow and became sure that it was same with the new one on his other hand. Both pills were bright orange capsules and he opened one of them. 

A yellowish dust spilled out and he carefully put it to the plastic cup she had brought him. There was a sip of tea left, so he mixed it with his finger and cheered inside when the liquid took brownish color. He did the same with the other pill, then picked up his pillow. 

He dived a finger into the cup and started to write a short message to his future self in case he’d ever fail to escape. Just a tiny word for him to understand what would be going on. 

_ Lies.  _

The thing smelled bad, so he was sure even if he placed his pillow over it, it wouldn’t keep Sanji from noticing it. 

Then he grabbed the thin sheet of his bed and got near the wall behind the door. He’d use it to tie the nurse, maybe threaten her, but if she’d ever put on resistance, he knew it would be over for him because he’d rather die than hurt a lady.

With the sound of the doorknob turning, he held his breath and waited, trying to convince himself-  _ I will not hurt her, I will not hurt her, I won’t hurt- _

Seeing the familiar brown hair, he jumped at the nurse and trapped her within the sheet, secured his arms firmly around her. He hated to use his hands like that, he hated to hurt a woman but it was his only chance to get out and figure out everything on his own. 

“If you try to scream or call for help, I’ll have to knock you out and it won’t be so kind,” he said almost in a whisper but loud enough for her to hear.

_ I will kill myself later for this.  _

“I swear I won’t! Please… Please don’t hurt me!”

_ I could never. _

“Good, now sit here and count until fifty, then you are free to go, start counting when I tap your knee.”

She nodded under the blanket and Sanji looked around for something he could use as a weapon. His search ended quickly when he saw the plate Pudding brought. He grabbed two syringes, one red, one white, and hesitated for a second. 

What if all the things they said were real? Where would he go then? He’d have no home to return.

Well, he’d eventually figure out something when he was out of that place. He couldn’t keep drugged with lies anymore.

With one last glance to the room, he tapped her knee and got out of the room. A high pitched scream reached his ears when he was barely five steps out. It was her decision then.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he cursed and braced himself for a fight, and before even grasp what was going on, two huge men emerged from the corner of the corridor and started running towards him. There was something familiar about them, as he had met them-

Then the realization hit him in the gut. 

They were soldiers of Germa Kingdom, their outfit and appearance were the same. A sight from his childhood that he would never forget. 

Why were they after Sanji? Or more importantly, if they had made up their mind about getting him, could the fire in Baratie be their doing? He knew they were capable of doing such a thing or more. 

All the life left his soul when he considered the possibility, a nauseous feeling hitting him hard. 

He was hopeless, again and there was no one he could trust. It was that moment when he heard another scream. This time it came from afar, maybe from the outside of the building and it carried so much emotion than anything. 

Sanji stopped and listened to the voice carefully. The voice was calling his name in a long, hearty yell. 

“SAANJII!” 

He huffed out the breath he didn’t know he was holding and let the instinct took over his actions. 

“LUFFY!?”    
  
  
  



End file.
